home | toki pona taso | essays | stories | weasel | resources | stuff I like | about | linjamanka | give | linguistics

weasel home | weasel essay | weasel rambles | weasel dictionary | weasel story | weasel plea | liminal weasel

this is a story about weasel

My IRL name is fucking weasel and I live on weasel street

Today I will write a story aobut a weasel

Once up on a time in a land far far away it was a dark and stormy night. There were no weasels, and it was a sad day for all (because of htelack of weasels). But everythign changed when the fire nation attacked.

So, I (a weasel) came into existance and decided to make things RIGHT so basically like I went to the mountain of seventeen kvetshes which is a mountain where the great prophet Haymish Gefiltafish was said to have complained on seventeen times in his life. On this mountain I hoped to find a magic amulet that would unlock the ancient weasel power bestowed within my weasel body by the god of weasels. This power would allow me to create weasels with my mind, which was ideal beacuse besides me there were no weasels.

So I set up the mountain. On my way, I encountered a FUCKING BOULDER. His name was Latkes Tevye. He said “hello weasel I am here to tell you about the first great kvetsh of Haymish Gefiltafish, the great prophet.”

I said “hello Latkes Tevye it is very nice to meet you.”

Without responding Latkes Tevye burst into song. “Haymish Gefiltafish came here and kvetshed about his monther many years ago. He complained that she was anoying.”

“Mood,” I said.

“Do you have a mother?” asked Latkes Tevye.

“Not really,” I said. “I just came into existence.”

“Oh okay” said Latkes Tevye. “I will move out of the way so you can continue up the mountain of seventeen kvetshes. May you find ur desired ancient powerful relic.”

“damn I shoure hope I do” I said, and I continued up the hill.

On my way up the hill I came across an enourmous avocado. Next to the Avocado it said on a sign “make the best guac ever” so I decided to make the best guac ever. I looked around for limes and I found some limes so I squashed them with my weasel paws and then cut up the avocado with my weasel paws and then found some salt and put the salt in the guac and tasted it and it was REALLY fucking good

Then I continued up the hill and found a GIANT MIRROR like it was huge okay. Like the biggest mirror evert. Then what happend with the fucking mirror OH RIGHT yeah so it was a funhouse mirror and like it made my legs look REALLY LONG. anywya I walked past the mirror becauaassse I’m a weasel and then on my way up the mountain I saw a scroll but I ignored it